Puzzle of the Day

Computer security experts seem to like puns. So if you want to talk as a computer security expert, you must be able to 
inject bad puns into your conversation. To get you started, here are some puns from what the Book of Lists 2 calls the 
world's worst puns. Consider yourselves armed (or forewarned)!

1.	The Eskimo stabbed himself with an icicle.  He died of cold cuts.

2.	In his dessert list, a San Antonio restaurateur suggests, "Remember the alamode!"

3.	There was an advice-to-the-lovelorn editor who insisted, "If at first you don't succeed, try a little ardor."

4.	The commuter's Volkswagen broke down once too often.  So he consigned it to the Old Volks Home.

5.	The wise old crow perched himself on a telephone wire.  He wanted to make a long-distance caw.

6.	A talkative musician couldn't hold a job.  Every time he opened his mouth, he put his flute in it.

7.	A farmer with relatives in East Germany heard that a food package he had sent had never arrived.  Optimistically, 
he assured them, "Cheer up! The wurst is yet to come."

8.	When the promoter of a big flower show was told that a postponement was necessary because the exhibits could 
not be installed on time, he explained to his backers, "We were simply caught with our plants down."

9.	A critic declared that he always praised the first show of a new theatrical season.  "Who am I," he asked, "to stone 
the first cast?"

10.	Egotist: a person who's always me-deep in conversation.

11.	"It's raining cats and dogs," one man remarked.  "I know," said another.  "I just stepped into a poodle."

12.	An eccentric bachelor passed away and left a nephew nothing but 392 clocks.  The nephew is now busy winding 
up the estate.

13.	The baseball pitcher with a sore arm was in the throws of agony.